He was fat and ugly and knew it, and the woman sitting next to him on the airplane was beautiful, and he knew she knew it. He also knew he lacked the personal charisma or overabundance of money, the only hope for someone like himself to draw such a woman to him. Except for a long string of prostitutes, one-night stands when both he and the girl had been wearing very thick beer goggles, and an ex-wife uglier and meaner than an angry grizzly bear, he was a virgin.
She was thinking about why every time she flew she always got stuck next to smelly, fat men without any redeeming charm, money to spend on her, or useful contacts in the movie industry. Not only did she not want to sit next to him, but decided to say not even a single word to him the entire flight to punish him for being disgusting. That's what she had planned, that is until he said the J-word:
"Crocus." She hadn't known it was her J-word, though she had always liked crocuses. Nor could she understand why this man next to her was suddenly the most desirable man in the world and she would do anything to have him.
Bainbridge, of course, was even more confused. Being a man, he knew nothing of woman's J-words and knew only that this woman was suddenly squirming in her seat. He attributed it to airsickness, though they hadn't left the terminal yet.
In fact, though she had heard him to say "crocus" as in the flower, what he would have said if the words hadn't become choked by the nicotine stained phlegm in his throat was "I'm with the band Krokus," hoping to impress her, though he was actually only a lighting roadie and Krokus wasn't a very well known band among people over fifteen.
"Yes! Yes, crocuses are lovely, very lovely, wonderful, wonderful flowers don't you think?"
"Yeah, well, they're alright, I guess. Don't know if I've ever seen one. Hmm. Crocus, huh?"
With the second mentioning, she began shaking convulsively, resembling the death throws of a crazed fish.
Bainbridge was not so stupid as to fail to notice her apparent enthusiasm for this flower, and though he cared little for flowers, at least it was a topic of conversation. Unfortunately, his ignorance of flowers was bountiful, so much so that he might have been considered an expert on not knowing anything about flowers and all he could say to continue the conversation was to repeat again, "Hmm. Crocus, eh?"
With this third repetition she went wild, unmindful of the other people on the airplane and the captain's message that all passengers should fasten their seat belts, please. Bainbridge's belt, which was already fastened and strained near its limits, she quickly unclasped, then thrust her hands inside his jeans, past the bulging rolls of fat and grabbed his prick.
Bainbridge, like the other passengers, was quite shocked, but unlike them, was more than pleased with this turn of events. "Wow! Crocuses, huh!"
With that she practically jumped in his lap, bit his neck, then his ear, and nearly shouted into it, "Let's go into the toilet."
They jumped out of their seats and headed down the aisle when a flight attendant ran after them yelling, "You must sit down! We're about to take-off!" She pushed the flight attendant to the ground. When another shouted that they weren't allowed by FAA regulations to take-off unless everyone was seated, she didn't care, but when they mentioned criminal prosecution, he knew he'd better get back to his seat. He was already on probation for something, and the board might not take too kindly to his crossing state lines.
She reluctantly followed him back to the seat and wanted to do it right there on his lap, seat belt fastened, especially when he said, "You must really like these crocuses, eh?" but his better sense or at least his fear of prosecution prevailed. But, of course, though awkward and slightly painful, especially during take-off, he didn't object when she put her hands back inside his pants. He also consented when she pulled off her wet panties and guided his hands up her dress.
After what seemed to both of them like an eternity, the fasten seat belt lights went off and with that they rushed off to the toilet. She was already pulling off his pants in the aisle and when they finally squeezed inside, he came within seconds.
Though she didn't reach orgasm, she was completely satisfied once she had his sperm within her. Contented, they strolled back to their seats where she put her panties back on and he started to zip up his Levi's until she stopped him and put her hand back inside. However, she was to be disappointed as he was unable to get hard again for the remainder of the flight and upon disembarkation, she gave him her phone number and made him promise to call her that evening. He never did. He wanted nothing to do with such a strange woman. And this was quite alright by her, for by the evening, the effects of the J-word had diminished and she was feeling embarrassed, repulsed, and just a little bit pregnant.
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